Reading: Right and Wrong

More wisdom from When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times:

“There is nobody on the planet, neither those whom we see as the oppressed nor those whom we see as the oppressor, who doesn’t have what it takes to wake up. We all need support and encouragement to be aware of what we think, what we say, and what we do. Notice your opinions. If you find yourself becoming aggressive about your opinions, notice that. If you find yourself being nonaggressive, notice that.  Cultivating a mind that does not grasp at right and wrong, you will find a fresh state of being. The ultimate cessation of suffering comes from that. Finally, never give up on yourself. Then you will never give up on others. Wholeheartedly do what it takes to awaken your clear-seeing intelligence, but one day at a time, one moment at a time. If we live that way, we will benefit this earth.” — Pema Chödrön

Reading: When Things Fall Apart…again

Revisited my notes last week from Pema Chödrön‘s “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times” when saw it was her 80th birthday and 20th anniversary of the book – timeless…and timely:

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”– Pema Chödrön

Much gratitude for her life’s work and teachings.

Reading: Self-efficacy

My last post on teaching reminded me of this favorite from Sharon Salzberg’s The Force of Kindness:

 “’People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities….Ability is not a fixed property…there is huge variability in it; people who have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong.’ Albert Bandura…..If ability is not a pre-ordained, limited, commodity, then our potential to grow, to understand, to love, to connect is significantly nourished by what we believe about ourselves.” — Sharon Salzberg

She quotes Albert Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy from Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control.   Albert Bandura, to overly simplify, is a highly honored and influential psychologist and Professor Emeritus at Stanford University.

I also found the following words highly resonant:

“Success and failure are largely self-defined in terms of personal standards. The higher the self-standards, the more likely will given attainments be viewed as failures, regardless of what others might think.” — Albert Bandura
Social Foundations of Thought and Action: A Social-Cognitive Theory

“By sticking it out through tough times, people emerge from adversity with a stronger sense of efficacy.” — Albert Bandura
Encyclopedia of Human Behavior

Reading: Reflections on Teaching — Intention and Perseverence

“Often we can achieve an even better result when we stumble yet are willing to start over, when we don’t give up after a mistake, when something doesn’t come easily but we throw ourselves into trying, when we’re not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished.” – Sharon Salzberg

When I shared this in classes it served as a reminder and opportunity for those embarking on this journey of self-study, -discovery, -awareness, breathing, stress relief or simply moving, etc.  Permission to explore has been granted and mistakes are ok…for all of us.

Inherent in practice is the permission to challenge our comfort zones, to make mistakes….and most importantly, continue on the journey — persevere.    This serves as great reminder for myself and may provide some ease for the perfectionists striving for the “ideal pose, floating transition…or ideal life,” despite the inherent imperfections of our humanness and disregard for our underlying goodness.

Sharon Salzberg’s words remind me of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras 1.12-1.16 teaching on persistent practice.

I.12. abhyāsa vairāgyābhyāṁ tan nirodhaḥ 

Translated by Swami Jnaneshvara:

“These thought patterns (vrittis) are mastered (nirodhah, regulated, coordinated, controlled, stilled, quieted) through practice (abhyasa) and non-attachment (vairagya).”

I.13. tatra sthitau yatnah abhyāsa

Translated by T. K. V. Desikachar:

“Practice is basically the correct effort required to move towards, reach and maintain the state of Yoga.”

Beginning with Sutra 1.12, we learn to quiet the disturbances of the mind by practicing regularly without attachment to the results.  Practice is described as persevering effort toward maintaining peace of mind.

Cent’Anni!

I just reached the 9 year mark of teaching public classes on April 24th!  Each year when I see the calendar notification, it triggers moments of  deep gratitude, disbelief, joy and “WTF am I doing?” (…so it is not just my father).

In appreciative reflection, fortunately the joys and sense of fulfillment from teaching come regularly.  There have been a fair share of challenging moments, and specifically three or four that gave me pause and sent me off the rails of reconsideration — questioning everything about my teaching.  The most challenging have been the moments when I felt my efforts came into question.

Disregard for the good and overwhelm by the bad (the difficulties, failures, etc.) is how my mind runs uncontrolled, and I am not special for it.  I mentioned the wonderful joyful moments come regularly, yet when challenged, my mind comes back to these 3-4 scenarios in 9 years — that is the 1% controlling my mind!  Constructively and reflectively, once past the shame phase, these have served as abundant learning experiences.   They also served as training in perseverance — picking myself up from drops in perspective, self-confidence and trust.

Intention

Sharing this reading in class also felt like a forewarning to students as it best describes how I practice and teach.  One student lovingly confirmed this a couple of weeks ago: “yeah, you are not polished.”  There was a moment of disappointment:  “is it that obvious?”

Lesson:  Apparently, if I am going to shit talk myself, to myself, often enough, word is going to get out.

I may not be the most polished teacher, but my intentions are clear.  With deep gratitude, I first learned the power of intention from a body/energy worker in my first years of teaching and I have maintained that same intention to this day and it is most helpful.  I aim for the highest for myself and students – which means whatever it means for each of us – peace of mind, happiness, freedom from suffering, etc.

“We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we have now has been the result of past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in the future can be produced by our present actions: so we have to know how to act.”  – Swami Vivekananda

Two weeks ago I shared the above from Swami Vivekananda which reminded me of the 2004 Sharon Salzberg article “The Power of Intention” published in O Magazine.  Sharon Salzberg speaks to the power of cultivating awareness of the intentions behind our thoughts and actions — endlessly useful.

Intention guides my actions.  A regular practice of gratitude and respect for our interconnectedness — our shared desire for happiness and freedom from suffering —  also keeps me in check and helps me through the challenges.  Experience shows me the challenges and missteps may not lessen with time, however, they may affect me less…for the most part.

When we are not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished we may free ourselves from attachment.  I would love to say I have zero fear of appearing less than perfectly polished.  However, that would be a complete lie as I was overwhelmingly reminded in my 500 hour teacher training program last year while teaching in front of my teachers.  The cup of fear runneth way over!  If only I was less attached.  

“If we fall, we don’t need self-recrimination or blame or anger—we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be wholehearted once again.” – Sharon Salzberg

It is much easier to maintain my peace of mind when riding a high of “great teaching” or recognition.  The important work is when we falter or our foundation (i.e., schedule, numbers, etc.) is shaken.  Given my deficiency in self-efficacy, my mind defaults down dark alleys of disparaging thoughts.  I can be consumed with worry, guilt, frustration, shame and incompetence.  I can be hard-pressed to get out of that negative space and find any compassion or loving kindness for myself in response.

Can I remain accepting of my capacity for more?    Can I pick myself up and keep going?

Being present, mindful and coming back to intention is what helps me to keep moving forward.  The more we practice the more we connect to our deeper truth and goodness despite any shadows of failure, fear, ego, shame, regret and doubt.  As long as we remain persistent in our practice towards right thought, action, etc. we may be less disturbed by any setbacks and persevere — primed to make right effort…again and again.

Thank you very much for your support throughout the years and for helping to keep me continually challenged, learning and resilient.

Peace, Love and Resilience.

Reading: Change

“Change has considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.” – King Whitney Jr.

 

I found this years ago from another teacher’s (Bobbie’s) email signature.  It offers me a great reflective opportunity — checking where am I on the change-reaction spectrum.

A student, who wanted to go by Anonymous, we’ll call him Tinsley, offered this addendum:

“To the curious it is constant because it leads to growth.” – Anonymous (aka Tinsley)

Thank you Bobbie, Tinsley and King Whitney.

 

Reading: Take Action

I tend to recall and share this every spring.

“Do not wait for strength before setting out, for immobility will weaken you further. Do not wait to see clearly before starting; one has to walk toward the light. When you take the first step and accomplish that tiny little act, the necessity of which may be apparent only to you, you will be astonished to feel that the effort, rather than exhausting your strength, has doubled it—and that you already see more clearly what you have to do next.” – Philippe Vernier

I need to hear this inspiration more often and hesitate less.

Reading: Georg Feuerstein on “Mindfulness”

Originally posted 4/9/2013:

From Georg Feuerstein’s book Yoga Gems:

“So long as we are on automatic, we are propelled by our own habit patterns, and this merely reproduces our state of unenlightenment. The moment we introduce mindfulness, however, we can control undesirable thoughts, motivations, emotions, and actions and activate their positive counterparts.” – Georg Feuerstein

With renewal of spring, I was inspired by the illumination and benefits that can come through yoga practice.   When we are struggling or stuck it can be hard to see another way, however, efforts in mindfulness can show us we are not, and the way to new possibilities.