Reading: Identity Shift

“At some point, we need to stop identifying with our weaknesses and shift our allegiance to our basic goodness. It’s highly beneficial to understand that our limitations are not absolute and monolithic, but relative and removable. The wisdom of buddha nature is available to us at any time.” — Pema Chödrön

Reading: more from Pema’s WTFA:HADT

“There is nobody on the planet, neither those whom we see as the oppressed nor those whom we see as the oppressor, who doesn’t have what it takes to wake up. We all need support and encouragement to be aware of what we think, what we say, and what we do. Notice your opinions. If you find yourself becoming aggressive about your opinions, notice that. If you find yourself being nonaggressive, notice that.  Cultivating a mind that does not grasp at right and wrong, you will find a fresh state of being. The ultimate cessation of suffering comes from that. Finally, never give up on yourself. Then you will never give up on others. Wholeheartedly do what it takes to awaken your clear-seeing intelligence, but one day at a time, one moment at a time. If we live that way, we will benefit this earth.” ~ Pema Chödrön  When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

 

 

Reading: Fear is Good

Thanks to my good friend Andrea, I have been reading this relatable and inspiring book The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield.  I’m just a third through and have found the following passage useful in explaining the fears I have around teaching.  Within a few days of reading this I shared it with a few people who found it very helpful…so figured there may be more who could benefit from it.

From the The War of Art:

“Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do.

Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance.  If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.” — Steven Pressfield

 

 

 

Reading: Being Tested by Pema Chödron

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”– Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

 

 

Reading from Class: School of Life by Pema Chödrön

“Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don’t get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit. It’s a very tender, non-aggressive, open-ended state of affairs.

To stay with that shakiness—to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path. Getting the knack of catching ourselves, of gently and compassionately catching ourselves is the path of the warrior (without resentment, judgment, bitterness).

Every day we could reflect on the aggression in the world (…and how leads to more pain). And every day we could ask ourselves, “Am I going to add to the aggression in the world?” Every day at the moment when things get edgy, we can just ask ourselves, “Am I going to practice peace, or am I going to war?” – Pema Chödrön

 

From When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Reading: Improving with Age/Practice

“While I continually try to improve my practice, I do my best and am contented with what I am able to attain. Even as the body ages and is able to do less, there are subtleties that reveal themselves , which would be invisible to younger or more athletic bodies.  You have to create love and affection for your body, for what it can do for you.  Love must be incarnated in the smallest pore of the skin, the smallest cell of the body, to make them intelligent so they can collaborate with all the other ones, in the big republic of the body.  So let me do what I cannot do, not what I can do.  You have always to do a little bit more than you think you can, in quality and in quantity.  This is what leads ultimately to beauty and greatness.” — B.K.S. Iyengar

 

As I have been sharing Iyengar’s words this week from his great reflection Light on Life, I found Seth Godin’s post from April 26th useful:  “To overcome an irrational fear…”

From Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra 1.12, we learn one way to quiet the disturbances of the mind (fear, etc.) is to practice regularly without attachment:

I.12. abhyāsa vairāgyābhyāṁ tan nirodhaḥ

Translated by Swami Jnaneshvara:

“These thought patterns (vrittis) are mastered (nirodhah, regulated, coordinated, controlled, stilled, quieted) through practice (abhyasa) and non-attachment (vairagya).”

 

Personally, as I get closer in thought or action towards the “irrationally scary stuff” — even just considering doing so —  the fear and anxiety escalates to such a fever pitch that it is stifling.  Despite these warnings, sometimes I may get somewhat closer in my actions.  When action is taken, there can be a rush of overwhelm, and then overcome…and then ‘WTF – that wasn’t so bad after all’.  These affirming feelings can help inspire continued action.  The more regularly steps are taken, the more the feeling of overcoming can help spur growth in the face of the “irrational fears.”

Making a habit of these steps as Seth offers, little by little on a regular basis, is what helps the raging fears dissipate.  Putting myself in this space more regularly — even if the action is muted or the much safer version — can make it less scary and connects me to feelings of empowerment.  However, if I wait or hesitate for too long before taking action, any history of success can lose its power and the fear comes back just as strongly.

Gratitude is another practice to strengthen the love cells and free ourselves from attachement.  After taking steps in the right direction (finishing a practice, a meditation, writing, or any project work, etc.), taking a moment of gratitude and acknowledgment of what I did or what is done vs. the self-shaming or focus on failures, etc. can inspire continued action.

 

Reading: Salzberg on Self-efficacy (Bandura)

 “’People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities….Ability is not a fixed property…there is huge variability in it; people who have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong.’ Albert Bandura…..If ability is not a pre-ordained, limited, commodity, then our potential to grow, to understand, to love, to connect is significantly nourished by what we believe about ourselves.” Sharon Salzberg from The Force of Kindness

I personally refer to this a lot, I’m surprised I haven’t shared it since 2012.

Reading from Louis L’Amour and a “Danger v. Comfort Zone” tangent

 “Up to a point, man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, & movements and changes in the world about him; then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be . . . Everyone has within his/her power to say, this I am today, that I shall be tomorrow.” -Louis L’Amour

We can get caught in non-useful limited thinking, placing a fence or ceiling deeply rooted in fear around us as protection.  We’ll have fences for different things, for poses we’ll try, difficult conversations we’ll have, the work we’ll do, the chances we’ll take, the degree to which we follow our hearts calling, etc

I have gotten really good at the fence building.  Whenever I consider taking steps outside these comfort zones,  working on the edges or taking steps outside these walls, my heart races.  Even as I write this my heart beats faster and my stomach tightens and breath more shallow.  And the tendency is the small-mind or negative-mind to kick in like the zap of an electric “reality” fence.  The shock-factor has worn-off for me, as I have become accustomed to the warnings “YOU can’t do that,” “don’t”  “you’ll look like an idiot”    “You’re not ready yet.”

These negative thoughts may sound ridiculous, and over the top, dramatic.  Agreed.  100% unwarranted…maybe I am just that special.

Working beyond our perceived limitations is scary.  I hold back. I see students hold back.  We all know that some of these things are so minor and that even just working a challenging pose and risking failure, doesn’t really matter.  It is so much easier to speak of these before, during and after class.  However, it can be quite the battle to stay present with breath and not get consumed with fear, overwhelmed with ego and overly self-protective when those risky moments present themselves.  Practice gives us space and the opportunity to become more open and accepting of whatever comes  and open to possibility.

Personally, I’ve been using meditation and mantra a bit more as of late to help practice getting space from the self-perceived limitations and the “caring about what others think.”   Also, finding reminders and inspiration from the words and examples of others help inspire possiblity and “right action.”