I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better”. — Abraham Lincoln
This quote has been with me for years as part of my long journey towards developing self-acceptance and the ability to forgive myself and others. It is the essence of metta practice.
Unconditionally accepting ourselves and others can feel impossible, especially in working with those that challenge us; those we do not like, hate, other, or call enemy or opponent.
The “getting to know them better” words of Abraham Lincoln remind me of what Valarie Kaur shares in her powerful and moving TED talk “3 Lessons of Revolutionary Love in a Time of Rage,” in which she encourages us to “wonder” about others:
Papa Ji dried my tears — gave me the words of Guru Nanak, the founder of the Sikh faith. “I see no stranger,” said Nanak. “I see no enemy.” My grandfather taught me that I could choose to see all the faces I meet and wonder about them. And if I wonder about them, then I will listen to their stories even when it’s hard. I will refuse to hate them even when they hate me. I will even vow to protect them when they are in harm’s way. That’s what it means to be a Sikh: S-i-k-h. To walk the path of a warrior saint.”
I am looking forward to reading her book “See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love” (Bookshop.org, Amazon.com). I am grateful to have come to Valarie Kaur through one of my all-time favorites Ani Difranco whose new album “Revolutionary Love” includes musical expressions of their shared mission.
The choice to love our opponents is moral and pragmatic, and it opens up the previously unimaginable possibility of reconciliation.” – Valarie Kaur